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A New Element Added to the Periodic Table

Posted Monday, October 6, 2008, at 11:47 AM

A friend emailed me the following and I am posting it here. I personally cannot vouch for the validity of the subatomic observations, but, it does seem plausible.

"Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons."

Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

-- Posted by kennethjones on Mon, Oct 6, 2008, at 11:53 AM

i was believing every word until the peon part

"forces called morons" made me laugh

-- Posted by jeramy on Mon, Oct 6, 2008, at 6:51 PM

Governmentium by democracy is preferable to totalitarianism or anarchy, even if morons are sometimes elected.................... all we peons can do is vote and try to inject some negatively charged electrons to energize the neutrons...................... But positively charged protons are critical to counteract all the negativity and neutrality..................

-- Posted by Johnny Yuma on Mon, Oct 6, 2008, at 9:38 PM

Thats exactly why I'm voting for Bob Barr. Less federal government and more states rights. Let the constitution be the constitution.

For more info feel free to visit



-- Posted by jonboon on Tue, Oct 7, 2008, at 2:24 AM

oh yea, the guy who sean hannity thinks wants to legalize crack

-- Posted by jeramy on Wed, Oct 8, 2008, at 11:53 AM

yeah, sean hannity is a moron. bob barr, the libertarian party, and the populist party only want the states to be able to vote on issues instead of the federal government telling them what to ban, including drugs.

stop watching corporate owned news.

-- Posted by jonboon on Wed, Oct 8, 2008, at 12:13 PM

Your half-life value of 2-6 years is only valid if we assume that, overall, half of the morons are re-elected to the house/senate respectively

-- Posted by cmlo on Wed, Oct 8, 2008, at 1:58 PM

i know hannity is a moron.. i was just messing with you

-- Posted by jeramy on Wed, Oct 8, 2008, at 3:41 PM

finally, good news


-- Posted by SadEmoKid on Mon, Nov 3, 2008, at 4:30 PM

-- Posted by trucker889293 on Wed, Nov 5, 2008, at 8:50 PM

What an idiot !

-- Posted by trucker889293 on Wed, Nov 5, 2008, at 8:50 PM

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