A few weeks back I spouted off about the bizarre tale of the man whose amputated leg was being stored (for some unfathomable reason) in a barbecue smoker, and how the smoker was sold to a man who then refused to give the leg back, instead charging admission to the public to come in and ogle it.

(Really. See the post, "Life Imitates Dickens" to the right over there if you don't believe me.)

I have been alerted to what I would have realized, if I had only thought it through, is the perfect conclusion to such a cheesy melodrama. The two claimants of the wandering leg settled their differences on the "Judge Mathis" television program. Of course. How else?

The original owner of the leg got custody and a monetary reimbursement. Judge Mathis delivered his decision with the brilliant legal pronouncement, "You're not getting that man's leg."

So you can stop worrying about that now.