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I've Got a System

Posted Wednesday, January 23, 2008, at 9:22 AM

(Photo)
Hm. I expected 4.
The first $100,000 winning lottery number in the Tennessee Lottery on January 22 was 028901. Follow along with me closely, now.

Let's take the "0289" first: Consider that the Buck Rogers atomic pistol toy, when first introduced, cost 89 cents. When was it introduced? In 1946, you say, impatiently looking at your watch. But give me another moment-- The question is, what day in 1946? February 2. See? That's not just 02, that's 02/02. For emphasis. 0289. Not so impatient now, are we?

But, you say, but what about the 01?

Well get this: We've all heard of the British rock band, Feeder. (Come on, sure you have! Feeder. Winner of the Metal Hammer Album of the Year award in 1997. Yeah, that's right. That Feeder.) What was their first single to break into the Top 10? Ready for this? It was Buck Rogers. And what year did that come out? Yes, that's right: 2001.

It all falls into place: 028901. Too much of a coincidence, don't you think? Yes you do. You just haven't given it enough thought yet.

There's clearly a formula in play, and that formula is only too obvious to me. The key is Buck Rogers. Know the Buck Rogers key, and the whole thing falls smoothly into place. The only slight hitch is that the formula only becomes obvious to me after the winning numbers come out. But that's just chronology. Once chronology is taken out of the equation, I'm in clover.

I pity the poor suckers who pick random numbers or use things like birthdays, addresses or license numbers. Please! What are the odds that the winning number of the lottery will be the birth date of the person who wins the lottery? My calculator doesn't even go up that high! (Granted, it is a freebie calculator I got through the mail with a credit card application.)

But that's OK. Keep buying your tickets. You're just fattening the pot for me, once I complete my Grand Unified Theory of Lottery Numbers. It's just a matter of time before I crack it and become incredibly wealthy. I already have a long list of things I'll buy. In fact, I've gone ahead and bought a lot of them on credit just to save time.


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When the powerball reachs $100,000,000.00, I usually buy one ticket and get more than my money's worth fantasizing about what I would do with the money if I won............ If you don't buy a ticket it is impossible to win the powerball//////////////////

-- Posted by Johnny Yuma on Wed, Jan 23, 2008, at 10:23 PM


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