Why?

The Alley bedroom warriors

Why?

In my mind this morning I'm thinking about life. Ken and I talked this morning about one of our readings. It was a sermon given in the fourth century. It discussed how we humans cling to this earthly life with all of our strength. We call in doctors, use machines, and go through excruciating treatments for a few extra moments on earth. Why? The point of the sermon was not to clutch desperately to this life, but to put that energy into preparing for our eternal life. I think about this all the time.

Last night as we completed the family ritual of putting "Sal" to bed in my mind I began thinking, "When is enough, enough?" I can't move very much lying down. I certainly can't breathe without my machine lying down. My mind is more active than of any part of my body. Why am I still here and fighting? I've been ready for a while now. When will I become too tired to fight? Each of my children and husband take turns hugging me and kissing me goodnight. I know one day I'll be released from all of the trappings of my life. As I am writing I'm figuring out the why.

My family isn't ready for me to go. Even though I'm a shadow of the physical "Sal" they need that ritual of laughter, ironic disbelief, jokes, and especially hugs and kisses we continue to share as the Alleys. I'm guessing we hang on until those who love us are ready. As I see more and more death, I want to reassure those left behind that they are strong. They are ready. They need to take up their crosses and prepare for their eternal lives. Take heart. You are loved. Your loved ones are whole once again, and are only a breath away. They've just journeyed to happily ever after.

Quote of the Day:

"No bird soars too high if he uses his own wings"

William Blake

Sarah Anderson Alley

Dedicated to Peggy M., David M., Cindy E., Java R., and Evelyn W.